What does it mean to be intentional?

Earlier this week, my good friend Kara Detwiller (and last week’s guest author — read her issue: This is your real life) sent me the October 4th issue of The Morning newsletter with an article titled, “Best Intentions” by Melissa Kirsch.

In it, Kirsch references an essay by her colleague, Marie Solis, in The New York Times, “When Did Everything Become So ‘Intentional’?,” a longer reflection on the rising use of the word “intentional” and potential causes contributing to our obsession with it.

Society is undoubtedly obsessed with what it means to be “intentional.” A quick TikTok search for #intentional surfaces 78.8k posts. On Instagram, 638k posts include #intentional, many of them quotes and advice about what it means to “be intentional.” And a quick Google search of the word offers a variety of dictionary definitions, followed by intentionality advice:

• Being Intentional: 6 Ways to Be Intentional Every Day

• There's No Secret to Being Intentional—Just These 18 Tips

• Intentional Living: Tips to Be Purposeful in Everything You Do

And maybe I’m part of the growing problem. You are reading an issue of Time Intentional, after all.

According to Solis, most can agree on the meaning of the practice of being “intentional,” despite applying it to their lives differently. Solis writes:

We can apply this lens and definition of the word to nearly every action in our daily lives. The time we set our alarm clock for. The amount of creamer we put in our coffee cups. What we eat for breakfast. How we structure our morning — meetings, heads-down work, and administrative time. The earrings we wore today. An afternoon walk in our free 1-hour block, without headphones, of course. The plans we make with our friends after work.

We can turn everything we do into an intentional act, then, can’t we?

We’ve overused a word that has the potential to carry a much deeper meaning. Sure, you can label all of your actions as “intentional.” We can slow down life and make it feel more luxurious, being wholly present in the moment. We can optimize our blocks of time down to the tiniest sliver of a second.

But labeling your entire life as one grand "intentional" act doesn't solve the fact that those actions may still not feel deliberate and aligned with who you are and what you want in life. Calling something “intentional” doesn’t mean it aligns with your values and goals. It doesn’t mean that you’re living authentically to who you are deep down.

• You can swap doomscrolling on your phone with the “intentional” act of reading a book, but do you care about being a reader? Will you, near the end of your life, feel satisfied with the time you spent reading?

• You can adopt an “intentional” morning routine (the latest “5 to 9” trend), but do you actually care about having one? Will you meet your deathbed one day and be grateful for those actions?

• You can plan “intentional” gatherings with your friends, but are those the people you want to spend your time with in the first place? Does framing get-togethers as “intentional” negate the fact that the people might not be the ones you genuinely want to be around?

I’m obviously in favor of slowing down and being more present. But there’s a lot more to it than that, and we shouldn’t minimize the word as such. It doesn’t have to be about an “illusion of control” over our everyday lives, as Solis’ opening headline reads. When we dig deeper, real intentionality is about reclaiming and defining what’s rightfully ours: how we choose to spend our one precious life.

Travel and time trade poll results

I owe you the results of the poll from a previous issue!

A few weeks ago, I wrote about the cost of a convenient life and the sacrifices we make in exchange for instant gratification.

Based on a conversation I had with loved ones, I asked: If you could walk through a portal to travel anywhere in the world in seconds, but it took one week off your life for each trip, would you do it?

There’s undoubtedly a high level of temptation in this hypothetical scenario, isn’t there?

Now I’m curious, for those who said maybe, how long of a trip would make you say yes?

With gratitude

Do you all have some unspoken rule to hype me up every time I doubt or wonder whether these ideas matter?! It sure feels that way.

Thank you to Stephanie Mickelson and Debbie Braden for telling me how much you enjoy Time Intentional during our virtual chats a few weeks ago. And to a special Buy Me a Coffee supporter for these words:

Until next time

• Read advice from the community (and if you’re new, share your advice with us using the form on the community page!)

• Check out our growing list of book recommendations (Shop Bookshop to support local bookstores)

• Pin your favorite issues of Time Intentional on Pinterest (this quote about critical thinking is quite popular right now)

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Are you thinking about starting a newsletter? Remember that done is better than perfect, so start today! beehiiv* makes it incredibly easy to take the first step.

This newsletter may include affiliate and referral links marked with an asterisk. If you click on or choose to purchase through one or more of the links below, I may receive a small commission or referral bonus.