It's all an illusion

We live under the comforting myth that we are in control.

We're in the driver's seat. We call the shots. Our decisions drive our behaviors and all the moments in between.

We use tools like calendars, systems, planning, preparation, routines, time management strategies, and a constant yearning for the future to reiterate (and convince ourselves) that we have control.

Many of us (myself included) invest a heaping amount of time and energy into controlling outcomes. But despite our desire to chase control, life reminds us time and time again that control is an illusion.

Crises, accidents, uncertainty-clouded events, and unexpected medical emergencies remind us of this truth. Intermittent machine beeping, flatline tones, muffled overhead announcements, screeching tires, shattered glass, approaching sirens, and the hum of fluorescent lights in a silent room whisper, "You are not in control; never forget this."

When the world shakes our illusion of control, our values—the real ones we live by, not just the ones we say are important to us—fill the void. Our internal compasses guide us through each moment, encouraging instinctual decisions when our brains falter.

In those moments that test us, we meet a version of ourselves shaped by every experience we have previously survived. It isn't just about physical presence but the idea that today's version of us survived more than yesterday's, and with each new experience that shatters our control, we are better able to respond.

We never show up to life's most challenging moments as blank slates, even though it can feel that way. Instead, we arrive with every lesson, emotion, perspective, and previous experience.

Life flows in a cyclical motion. But that doesn't eliminate uncertainty, fear, or panic. You can't control what life throws at you. But you can choose who you become between one heavy challenge and the next. That's the quiet power of an intentional life.

A Few Fun Updates

Here’s what’s new:

• Community Features now includes advice from readers (complete this survey!) and a thank you to Buy Me a Coffee supporters.

• I recently put together The Guide to a More Time Intentional Life—it’s a great resource if you’d like to share this newsletter with someone who might enjoy it but wants to learn more about Time Intentional first.

• You’re always welcome to respond to issues with questions, but now you can “Ask a Question” anytime using this form (or by clicking the “Ask a Question” button in the top navigation bar menu at www.timeintentional.com).

• I’m launching a referral program soon! 🎉 My pal Sam Dubeau is helping me bring some fun ideas to life. Stay tuned!

Time Well Spent: Weekly Roundup

1. I firmly believe in protecting one’s energy, especially (or even more importantly) during difficult situations. Last week, an emergency (everything is okay for now) challenged me to establish energy-preserving boundaries. Should you find yourself in a difficult moment or season, I encourage you to read The dollar analogy for difficult seasons by Melissa Urban. She also published The Book of Boundaries*, an excellent and practical guide with scripts.

2. I recently spotted ReadYourColor.com, and while I’m not typically one for online quizzes (sorry, Buzzfeed), I enjoyed this one. If you’re a reader or want to reignite a reading hobby and have 5-10 minutes to spare, take the assessment. I’m a Yellow Reader, aka The Emotional Catalyst. Respond and let me know what color reader you are.

3. I started following Maura McInerney-Rowley on social media a year or two ago, and I’m a big fan of her work. At Hello, Mortal, she’s on a mission to revive (and encourage) the lost art of contemplating mortality. You can subscribe to the Hello, Mortal Substack. The Colorado Sun featured Maura in a recent story, and I learned that death cafes exist in Colorado. I’m intrigued…

The Takeaways

• Your energy is sacred. What boundaries do you need to set to protect your energy this week? This month?

• Gamification can make hobbies and activities more enjoyable. How might you gamify your life over the next few weeks?

• Mortality can be an uncomfortable topic. How can you contemplate mortality in your life (within reason and comfort) to help you live more intentionally?

Time Intentional 🕰️ Reader Love 💞

• I received the most responses (ever!) to last week’s issue: Hoya blooms and a 10-year tribute. Thank you to Lucy N., Michelle H., Shelley D., Cyndi M., Sam L., Jody S., David F., and my mom.

• My friend Daniel Kenitz gave me a shout-out on LinkedIn, and I am honored that he included me alongside some other excellent writers! He wrote, “Alyssa Towns is putting out one newsletter PER WEEK that always surprises me with its combo platter of depth and breadth. How does she have the time???” By the way, Daniel is a published author (SO COOL), and I devoured his first book, The Perfect Home*. It’s been one of my favorite books this year so far.

I’m Alyssa Towns, a freelance writer, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Only you can decide how to spend your time in a way that feels intentional!

Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

Your love and support mean the world to me! If you read some of my work and love it or find it valuable, please email me to let me know! I do my best to respond to every message I receive. (No, really!)

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