You'll never regret celebrating your birthday

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Bronnie Ware, an Australian author, songwriter, and speaker, is best known for her writing about the top deathbed regrets of the dying, gained through her work in palliative care. Her international bestseller, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying*, has been published in 32 languages and read by millions.

The top five regrets she heard time and time again are as follows:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

By now, I hope it’s evident that Time Intentional is a space designed to help each of you make it to the end with no regrets.

And what if I told you there’s one easy way you can stay ahead of all five of these regrets at once?

The secret? Celebrate your birthday (in whatever way feels most meaningful to you) every single year.

At some point a handful of years ago, I became the kind of person who embraces and celebrates her birthday unapologetically. If you know anything about zodiac signs, you might say, “How very Leo of you.” And yeah, maybe it is (although I tend to feel similarly to my friend Sam L. when it comes to being Leo, but I digress).

I take the day off if my birthday falls on a weekday. I buy a fun (often colorful and bright) birthday dress to wear. Sometimes, I get a massage or visit the spa (usually with my mom). I find a new restaurant to try (or choose a past favorite), and my husband takes me out on a hot date. Ultimately, I spend the day doing things I want, dressing up in clothes that feel like me, and enjoying time with people I love.

And this year, I realized that my birthday tradition addresses all five regrets of the dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. I do the things I love! I wear what makes me feel my best (even if I stand out). I never feel as true to myself as I do on my birthday. And you can use the day as an opportunity to reflect and adjust to live more in alignment with who you really are.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. I don’t work on my birthday. I used to use PTO for this (now I have control over my schedule). I hope to look back someday and think, “I’m so grateful I gave myself permission to simply live and enjoy life on my birthdays, not answer emails.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings. My people show up for me on my birthday, and I always end the day feeling overwhelmed (in the best way). I give and receive love and appreciation in excess every year.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Birthdays bring reconnections with old and new friends alike, and I often find myself reaching out to friends to catch up more frequently after a birthday. I also love planning birthday celebrations with my friends, from casual dinners to sunny days at the lake and everything in between. When you choose to celebrate your birthday, you create opportunities to spend time with friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. Most people I know downplay their birthday and describe it as “just another day.” Instead, choose to do the things that make you happy. Eat your favorite meal! Wear a new dress! Do your favorite activity! Happiness is something you can choose, and what better way to create space for more of it than on your special day?

You don’t have to stop celebrating when you grow up. No one reaches the end of life and says, “Wow, I wish I had celebrated less.”

Birthdays offer opportunities to reflect and realign with what truly matters, helping us move away from the regrets that linger at the end. You can choose to hide your light and let the years slip quietly by, or you can wholeheartedly embrace each moment. The choice is always yours.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. Courage to propose an idea allowed me to work on one of my all-time favorite content collaborations with a brand I love, Grammarly (ahhh, I know)! Read the blog post I wrote: How Grammarly Helped Me Become a More Effective Internal Comms Pro.

   1. P.S. I have another collaboration coming up this week! Subscribe to Staffbase’s newsletter, You’ve Got Comms, before 8/28 to read my tips for becoming a newsletter storyteller.

2. My husband took me to one of our favorite restaurants, Wildflower, for my birthday, and it was incredible (per usual). Sometimes, I feel pressured to try and do new things constantly (because we’ll run out of time and can’t do it all?!), but there’s also something to be said for enjoying what you know you love.

3. I’m new(er) to running, so for any die-hard runners out there, this won’t sound like a big deal, but I ran three miles yesterday (which is a big dang deal for me!). Sometimes, the long haul has a greater payoff.

Your next intentional move

• When was the last time you took a risk to share an idea, and what opportunities might be waiting if you spoke up more often?

• How do you balance the excitement of trying new things with the comfort of savoring what you already know you love?

• Where in your life might steady, consistent effort lead to a greater reward than quick wins?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

Until next time

• If you enjoyed The last time exercise (last week’s issue), you’ll love Sahil Bloom’s recent issue of The Curiosity Chronicle: Live Like It’s The Last Time

• As someone falling in love with reading again, Carolyn Gregoire’s Reading books is an act of resistance (Hello, Mortal) is one of my favorite essays in quite some time

• Pin your favorite issues of Time Intentional on Pinterest

One more thing before you go…

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

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