The last time exercise

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As we sat side-by-side in pedicure chairs and compared shades of summery pinks and oranges against one another, my oldest friend gently uttered, “This might be our last girls’ day before the little one joins us!”

With only a couple of weeks left in her pregnancy, we planned one final special day together, just the two of us, knowing good and well it’d be the last time before her life changed and she claimed her new title as a mama.

We’ve been friends for 15ish years, and every time we get together is special, but the “last time” label made our afternoon that much more meaningful.

Fortunately for us, we knew it was the last time, and sometimes that’s the case. In these moments, it’s up to us to be fully present to savor them. But often, we find ourselves looking back, realizing we had experienced something for the last time without knowing it.

These moments surround us, especially this time of year:

• The last time parents drop their kids off at elementary, middle, or high school for the new school year

• The last time your child is willing to hold your hand on the way to school drop-off, because next year they’ll be grown and more independent

• The last family dinner before a child moves out

• The last coffee with a coworker before they change jobs, or with a neighbor before they move away

• The last trip to your favorite restaurant before they shut their doors for good

• The last holiday season in the house you grew up in before your parents sell their home

• The last day at the lake or park before the summer ends 

• The last phone call with a loved one before they receive life-changing news

• The last time you’ll say goodbye to a loved one without knowing it

Some of these moments we have control over, others we don’t. Control isn’t the goal. Being present is.

Here’s a simple last time exercise for you this week:

1. Identify a known last time you’ll experience in the coming months. It can be big or small. Think about how you’ll treasure it. Some ideas: take photos or videos, journal about it afterward, talk about it with a loved one, or wear your favorite outfit.

2. Choose something ordinary you’ll do today and imagine it’s the last time you’ll get to do it. Notice how your behavior and emotions shift. Repeat this with different areas of life throughout the week. Lawrence Yeo wrote an excellent piece about this on his website titled “The Finality of Everything” that breaks down the everyday moments in life we’ll someday miss.

💌 Please reply to this email and let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear about more of your last times. (P.S. My birthday is next week and I’m in the mood to celebrate! If you reply, you have a chance to win one of two digital gift cards (of your choice) through American Greetings.)

The clock won’t stop for any of us, but you can stop to enjoy the moments it offers you. We don’t always get to choose our last times, but we do get to decide how we show up for them, even when we don’t see them coming.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

1. I recently read Today Was Fun by Bree Groff*, and if there was ever a book that could beautifully capture work being an intentional (and significant) part of our lives, it’s this one. I highly recommend it and have a book review coming out on The Everygirl soon!

2. Collaboration is the theme of my work life this season. I’m working on a handful of fun upcoming collaborations and finding a lot of joy in the work.

3. A kind woman stopped to give my husband and me directions to the bike trail we were looking for, and it made me think about all the times we can make a slight difference by doing something small. Let’s all be more like her!

Your next intentional move

• Is your work intentional in a way that matters to you? Maybe you work to fund other parts of your life, want to do value-aligned work, or primarily care about who you surround yourself with.

• In what ways might being more intentional about how you collaborate shift the joy or meaning you find in your work?

• When was the last time a small act of kindness or guidance made your day easier, and how might you offer that kind of intentional support or connection to others in your life?

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

Until next time

• Read advice from the community

• Check out our growing list of book recommendations

• Ask a question

• Pin your favorite issues of Time Intentional on Pinterest

Today’s issue is brought to you by multiple matcha lemonades, thanks to my Buy Me a Coffee supporters: Cameron, Joy, Stephanie, Jaiden, Angela, Jarod, Jody, Bob, and Lucy!

One more thing before you go…

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

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