Stuck in a liminal space

One thing we don’t talk about enough: life is a never-ending stroll through liminal spaces.

A liminal space is an uncertain transition between where you were and where you are going. They can be physical (e.g., an airport or empty hallway), emotional (e.g., a career transition or divorce), or psychological (e.g., choosing between two desirable options). The word “liminal” comes from the Latin word for “threshold” — “limen.”

Transitional spaces, no matter how wonderful the eventual “other side” you reach may be, are unsettling, eerie, anxiety-inducing, and sometimes hopeless. (And that’s because change is hard.)

And while I’m a firm believer in transitional magic, I feel stuck in many liminal spaces right now, in all areas of my life, including:

• The transitional summer-to-fall period and the routine changes that come with it

• Life before political and market uncertainty and life after endless policy changes

• The in-between period of life before and after AI

• A transition with a loved one before and after a surprising medical diagnosis

• Changing relationships with nearly all of my friends as paths diverge and priorities shift

• A vague, gray space where I used to believe wholeheartedly in the ability of writing to change the world, and the fear that soulless writing (endlessly generated content) and dwindling attention spans are reducing the power of words

It’s exhausting. And yet, I’ve been here before, most notably through the loss of my grandparents.

I know I’m not the only one feeling stuck in liminal spaces these days. Whether the word “liminal” comes up, it seems most people are having conversations around fears, uncertainty, and a total loss of control across various aspects of their lives.

And because I’m also going through it, I’m asking: How do we show up intentionally in liminal spaces? Is it even possible? How do you “make the most of your time” when you can hardly focus on the moment right in front of you?

When life feels chaotic, it's challenging to show up intentionally, but here's what’s helping me in this season:

• Using values as an anchor: Intentionality begins with knowing and defining your values, which remains true even when life feels shaky. Ask: What really matters to me, even when everything else around me feels uncertain? Then, find micro-ways to stay aligned with your values if you feel like big acts are too much to carry.

• Sharing how I’m feeling (and feeling all the things): Don’t let unhelpful feelings build up, and don’t feel you have to keep them to yourself. Liminality often lives in the mind. Let it out.

• Reminding myself transitions don’t last forever: As with all things in life, chapters come and go. Liminal spaces are no different, but they can feel endless when you’re in them. Pause and remind yourself that everything is temporary.

To live a long and beautiful life is to walk through transitions and thresholds: childhood into adulthood, old environments to new ones, love to loss, endings to new beginnings. It’s natural to feel lost, restless, or even afraid. But liminal spaces are not permanent. Find solace in knowing that liminal spaces, no matter how uncomfortable, are a sign of life, of momentary glimpses of time you’ll look back on one day, of time well spent.

Time well spent: weekly roundup

Instead of three reflections this week, I’m choosing one reflection and sharing practical tips you can implement!

My mom loves Pilates. I can feel her excitement when she tells me about it. A few weeks back, she asked if I wanted to come to her Pilates class with her sometime. So, this week, I took my first-ever class with my mom (and one of my childhood best friends joined us, too). I’m already looking forward to the next one!

I’m not always good at trying other people's passions and hobbies with them. I know what I enjoy and love, which makes me somewhat rigid.

Your next intentional move

• If you want to grow by engaging with the passions of people you care about, try:

  • Saying yes to someone else’s joy for a shared experience: When a loved one invites you into what excites them, see it as a doorway to connection. Shared experiences are impossible to replicate.

  • Viewing flexibility as growth, not sacrifice: If you’re usually drawn to what you know and like, stepping into another person’s world doesn’t mean losing yourself. Every new experience is an exercise in curiosity and humility.

  • Turning shared experiences you love into traditions: If the experience brings you joy, consider making it a recurring one. Putting it on the calendar — like a weekly class, monthly outing, or seasonal ritual — turns someone else’s passion into a shared story that you both can look forward to.

Check out the full list of intentional prompts and share it with someone you love!

Until next time

Next week’s edition of Time Intentional will be a guest post from my friend Kara Detwiller at Wishful Working. It’s about our perspective of our “real life” versus more notable experiences, such as vacations. Spoiler alert: the ordinary and extraordinary are part of our “real life,” and it’s up to us to close the gap between the contrast. You’re going to love it!

And if you aren’t already a Wishful Working subscriber, sign up ASAP to catch my special edition about what to do when your career no longer feels intentional on 10/2.

A quick note about one of my favorite news sources…

I’m Alyssa Towns, and this is Time Intentional, a newsletter exploring what it means to spend our limited (and precious) time intentionally. Extend your love and support by sharing this newsletter with someone you know or buying me a coffee! ☕

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